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How to Leave an Abusive Marriage in Maryland

Kathleen M. Kirchner Attorney At Law Oct. 1, 2024

Leaving an abusive marriage is a challenging and emotionally charged decision. If you’re in Maryland and contemplating this step, it’s crucial to understand your legal options, safety measures, and available resources. This blog will provide an in-depth look at how to go through the process of leaving an abusive marriage in Maryland, including legal steps, protective measures, and support services.

Understanding an Abusive Marriage

Before taking any legal or practical steps, it's essential to assess your situation carefully. Abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, financial, and psychological. Recognizing the type and severity of abuse is crucial for planning your next steps.

Types of Abuse

  • Physical abuse: Includes hitting, slapping, pushing, or other forms of physical violence.

  • Emotional abuse: Involves manipulation, humiliation, threats, and controlling behavior.

  • Financial abuse: Refers to controlling access to money, restricting financial independence, or stealing money.

  • Psychological abuse: Involves causing emotional distress through threats, intimidation, or constant monitoring.

Understanding the nature of the abuse can help you determine the most effective safety plan and legal strategy to improve your situation.

Steps to Develop a Safety Plan

Safety planning is a critical first step in leaving an abusive marriage. It involves preparing in advance to prioritize your safety and the safety of any children involved.

  1. Identify safe places: Determine where you can go if you need to leave quickly, such as a friend’s house, a family member’s home, or a shelter.

  2. Keep important documents: Gather and keep essential documents such as identification, birth certificates, social security cards, and financial records in a safe place.

  3. Plan for emergency situations: Have a packed bag with necessary items like clothing, medications, and a cell phone with emergency contacts.

  4. Establish a code word: Create a code word with trusted friends or family members that signals you need help.

  5. Secure your digital information: Make sure that your online communications and browsing history are secure. Use devices that your abuser doesn't have access to.

Finding Support and Resources

Connecting with local resources can provide crucial support during this time.

  • Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MCASA): Offers resources and support for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

  • Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV): Provides information on domestic violence, legal assistance, and shelters.

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: Available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for immediate assistance and support.

Considering the Legal Steps for Leaving an Abusive Marriage

Maryland law provides several legal protections and options for individuals in abusive situations. Here’s a step-by-step guide to understanding the legal aspects:

1. Obtain a Protective Order

A protective order, also known as a restraining order, can provide immediate relief and protection from an abuser.

Types of Protective Orders

  • Interim protective order: Issued quickly, often the same day you file for protection. It provides temporary relief until a hearing can be held.

  • Temporary protective order: Provides protection until a full court hearing is held.

  • Final protective order: Issued after a court hearing, providing long-term protection.

How to Obtain a Protective Order

  • File a petition: Go to your local district court and file a petition for a protective order. You don’t need a family law attorney to file, but legal advice can be beneficial.

  • Provide evidence: Submit evidence of abuse, such as police reports, medical records, or witness statements.

  • Attend the hearing: Participate in the court hearing where a judge will determine whether to grant the protective order.

2. Seek Legal Counsel

Consulting with a family law attorney experienced in domestic violence cases is crucial for understanding your rights and options.

Benefits of Legal Representation

  • Advice on your rights: A family law attorney can explain your legal rights and options regarding divorce, custody, and property division.

  • Representation in court: A lawyer can represent you in court, making sure that your interests are protected and advocating on your behalf.

  • Assistance with legal documents: A family law attorney can help prepare and file necessary legal documents and handle the court system.

3. File for Divorce

If you decide to end your marriage, filing for divorce is the legal process required to formally dissolve your marriage.

Types of Divorce in Maryland

  • Absolute divorce: The legal termination of a marriage. Grounds for an absolute divorce include separation, adultery, or cruelty.

  • Limited divorce: Provides legal separation but doesn't dissolve the marriage. It can address issues such as custody and support.

Filing for Divorce

  1. Grounds for divorce: Determine the grounds for divorce, such as cruelty or separation. Consult with your family law attorney to choose the appropriate grounds.

  2. File a complaint: Submit a complaint for divorce to the circuit court in the county where you or your spouse resides.

  3. Serve your spouse: Make sure that your spouse is served with divorce papers. This can be done through a process server or sheriff’s office.

  4. Attend court hearings: Participate in court hearings as required. Your family law attorney will guide you through this process.

4. Address Custody and Support Issues

If you have children, addressing custody and support arrangements is a critical part of the divorce process.

Custody Arrangements

Physical custody determines the primary residence of the children, specifying where they'll live. In contrast, legal custody involves the authority to make decisions regarding the children’s upbringing, encompassing areas such as education and healthcare.

Child Support

In Maryland, child support is calculated using guidelines that take into account both parents' incomes and the child’s needs. If circumstances change, you have the option to request a modification of the support order to reflect these new conditions.

Managing Joint Assets and Debts

When leaving an abusive marriage, managing joint assets and debts is an important consideration in prioritizing your financial stability.

  • Asset division: Understand how marital assets will be divided during divorce proceedings. This includes property, savings, investments, and retirement accounts.

  • Debt responsibility: Address how joint debts will be handled. Make sure that you’re not unfairly burdened with debts accrued by your spouse.

  • Consulting a financial advisor: Consider consulting a financial advisor to help manage the division of assets and debts and plan for your financial future.

Recognizing Practical Considerations

Leaving an abusive marriage involves practical considerations beyond legal matters. These include finding housing, managing finances, and rebuilding your life.

Finding Housing

  • Emergency shelters: Seek temporary housing at local shelters if you need immediate refuge.

  • Transitional housing: Explore transitional housing options that provide longer-term accommodation while you stabilize your situation.

  • Renting or buying: Look for rental properties or consider purchasing a home if you have the financial resources. Organizations like the Maryland Department of Housing can assist with housing resources.

Managing Finances

  • Open a separate bank account: If possible, open a separate bank account in your name only to manage your finances independently.

  • Budgeting: Create a budget to manage your expenses and plan for future financial stability.

  • Seek financial assistance: Explore resources for financial assistance, such as nonprofit organizations or government programs.

Rebuilding Your Life

  • Counseling and therapy: Seek counseling or therapy to address the emotional and psychological impacts of the abuse and divorce.

  • Support groups: Join support groups for survivors of domestic violence to connect with others who have similar experiences.

  • Employment and education: Explore job opportunities and educational programs to enhance your skills and financial independence.

Enlisting Experienced Legal Guidance

Leaving an abusive marriage in Maryland demands meticulous planning, legal knowledge, and emotional support. Kathleen M. Kirchner, Attorney at Law, serving Anne Arundel County and surrounding areas, including Queen Anne’s County, Calvert County, Prince George's County, and Howard County, emphasizes the importance of understanding one's legal rights, creating a comprehensive safety plan, and leveraging available resources to handle this difficult process.

As a family law attorney, Kathleen M. Kirchner’s approach is affordable, aggressive, and compassionate, making sure that clients receive the support and representation they need. By thoroughly grasping the legal process, individuals can approach their situation with greater confidence.

Legal professionals, advocacy organizations, and community resources stand ready to provide the necessary assistance. Prioritizing safety and well-being is crucial, and taking these deliberate steps can pave the way to a safer and more secure future.